No Plan New Years

December 31, 2015

No Plan New Years

It's still 2015 as I write this.

This is my 39th New Year's Eve. That's kind of crazy for a gal who is a mere 20 years old. I can't even explain how that works. :)

Regardless, that's 39 fresh starts in the making, and at least 25 plans to be better, smaller, more, less, cuter, closer....

Quite a few years of training myself that I should be different in the 365 tomorrows to come.

Always with a list. Forever with a resolution. A girl, gal, woman, daughter, mother with a plan.

I don't have one this year.
Somehow that feels confession-worthy.

Amid the plans upon plans that exist, I'm this single gal facing the world armed with 2 kids, a dog, and 4 fish. There's my house and my career. A ministry that I love. A non profit that I see. Graduation coming. Celebrations stirring. Heart's desires blooming. Dreams finding a voice.

But absolutely no true bottom-line plan outside of that the plan of the One who created me.

It's comfort that the world says should feel like terror.

It's freedom that the world might call free falling.

It makes absolutely no sense, and yet it's such a divinely lit path.

This many New Year's Eve rehearsals tells me that I have nothing to lose by handing God the pieces of my puzzle and saying, "Every piece is yours. Make it beautiful, Lord."

I don't have to know the ins and outs of this year. Our lives are but a wisp, and wisps can be majestic, but they are simply an interlude that needs a touch of true Majesty.

Only His touch can give meaning to our moments, making this year different than all of the rest.

I can't even pretend that I know what that looks like, though.

See, I've spent the latter part of 2015 opening up my hands and resting in grace. "Come what may" kind of living. It's breathable here. Free flowing. Divinely ordained. I just get to ride along and go where He says go.

I want that for all of 2016. Don't you?

I know that I've shortchanged God's plan in the past, though, simply by trying to plan too much. See, my plans look a lot like control. They feel better in the short term. They look organized. They make sense on this side of heaven.

But I don't want MY best. I want HIS best. I long for HIS best.

So, 2016, I see you. I don't know what you will bring, but I know Who is ushering you into my life.

The Creator of the Universe is driving, and He's given me some pretty sweet desires that have grown in this heart He created. And I know....

I know that if He dreamed them up and planted them here, then HE will bring them to pass.

I'm willing. Not panicked. Believing. Not stressed. I'm secure in not having a plan and delighted about deferring to His.

I'm available, Lord. Leaning in. Loving hard. Dreaming big. Ready for next steps.

I'm not bringing a list. I have no resolutions. Just a girl, gal, woman, daughter, mother with no plan.

Completely yours for the molding and shaping.

Happy New Year, Lord. Let's do this thing. 2016. No plan. Just You.