Followers

Monday, April 21, 2014

How Do You Do It?

"I don't know how you do it."

I hear that a lot.

My neighbor said it to me yesterday.  Except, her version of it was, "How can you go to school and do all of that?"...

See, it was Easter yesterday and I had a midterm that had to be done on Easter weekend.  (I know! I know!)  In the land of all things single parenting and non-traditional student , you get a babysitter when you can.  Those hours immediately after Easter lunch & egg hunt cuddled up next to Easter dinner & evening bunny movies are THE window.  (Amazing grandparents don't hurt, either!)

So, kids are dropped off and I'm in the testing zone.  I've prayed.  I've applied my Young Living essential oils for focus and calm.  I've prayed again.  I have all my supplies lined up.

I'm ready.   I click start on the online, timed, 50 questions in 60 minutes test.  (No stress there.  Right?)

And then... KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Someone has died.  I just knew it.   That could be the only reason that someone is knocking on my door in the middle of a timed midterm. Clearly, there has been a death in the family.

So, I run to the door to see my precious neighbors.

No one is dead.  They simply came by to deliver a beautiful Easter gift because they are awesome.  I tossed out some unintelligible rambling about "testing with a timer" and "already started" and "kids are gone" and "I gotta go, but thank you!" ..... ((slammed door shut and RANNNNNNN for the computer)).

The look in their eyes said that they didn't get it.... and I felt awful.

I finished the test and immediately went over to apologize and thank them for the lovely gift, and to explain a bit... and that's when the question came.

I knew the right answer to how I do all that I do.   It's GOD, through and through.

Honestly, though, the first thing that came to mind when asked, "How do you do all of that and go to school?" was, "Not very well some days."

Today was a tough day as I sat in the middle of "not very well."

Because, see, that's the truth of the matter.

On my own, I DO NOT do this thing called my life very well.  On my own, I botch it up 10 ways to Sunday.

On my own,  I hurt feelings.  Left to my own devices, I struggle with the most simple things.

Without Jesus driving, I am black and white thinking run amuck and I forget that there is beauty in His rainbow and the shades of gray in the shadows.

If I stop to look too hard at HOW I do single parenting, a career, my passions, ministry, and more, I forget the WHO.

It's not HOW I do it, honestly.  That's what today brought me to.

In a lunch time chat with God in my car in a puddle of good ole' tears with my bible in my lap, it wasn't about how I could pull this off better.  It was the full blown realization that I can't.

Do you ever have those times when you are so overwhelmed by your own life that you just kind of toss up your hands and say, "God, you may have picked the wrong girl."

Well, if you do, you're in good company.  Today was my day for that.

The difference, though... I know He didn't pick the wrong girl.  The devil would LOVE for the story to end at the pity party... BUT GOD. :)

((Y'all get ready... here comes some TRUTH!))

He picked EXACTLY the right woman for this life.

Just like Esther, He chose me for a moment such as this... because He knew I couldn't do it without Him and He knew I'd follow His lead like she did.

He reminded me today that I'm the APPLE of His eye.  He just adores me... and if every person I loved on this planet were gone, He would still be there just loving me all day long... because that's what He does... and HE LOVES HIS JOB!  He chose it just because of me!

He reminded me that I get to rest in His care.  You see, it's okay to reserve a lunch hour just to go cry with my Daddy for no reason whatsoever.  I don't have to know why and He doesn't mind the babbling.  He counts every tear.  He holds onto every word.

So, is this all about me?  Nah.  It's bigger than that.

It's about each of us walking in seasons and knowing they won't last forever, but that God will.

It's about accepting the feelings we have without letting them control us.

It's about remembering that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow... even when we feel 10 Degrees of Wacky. :)

It's about remembering that we can press restart at ANY point in our day and begin again.

My All in All is God Almighty.  He's on call 24 - 7 and He'll listen to every word as if it's the first word I've ever spoken, all while keeping track of the hairs on my head and the desires of my heart.

I went into lunch today a hot mess and left with this message.  "You're beautiful."

Only God, friends.  Only God.

That is the REST of the story.  That's how I do it.  A relationship with the only Him that will ever complete me.

Resting in His love tonight.  I hope that you do, too.

ChristieAitken@gmail.com, 2014
http://www.ChristieAitken.blogspot.com
http://www.MyOilGirl.com 
Twitter: @ChristieAitken 
Google+: +Christie Aitken 


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